Friday, November 13, 2009

Douchebag & Asshole Test

Test 1: Do you tailgate other drivers? Then you're an asshole. More specifically, an unsafe motherfucker who should be taken out to the woods and shot. Like the fucker who decided it would be cool to tailgate me at 100km/hour. This asshole was in a white truck who was in so much in a fucking hurry to get to TIM HORTONS that he decided everyone else should get the hell out of his way. There's a left lane in which he could pass but no, no, he had to stick behind my ass. And I had no where to run because of traffic was ahead of me. And I'll be damned if I'm going to move a fraction quicker because some cocksucker in a truck is impatient. 

Test 2: Do you have these balls (or similarly) attached to your truck?

Because not only are these an exercise in bad taste, but it also shows how much of an offensive, red-neck micro-brain mother fucker you really are. And you might enjoy taking it up the ass, too - because the only people I could fathom who would want to display balls out are closet homosexuals. This douchebag was in a truck that had nothing less than SILVER balls hanging from his license plate.

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