Thursday, August 13, 2009

Groggey-Eyed and Tired Post

Air travel is supposed to be this fanciful adventure with exciting changes in landscape and people. True, I got to meet some exciting new people during my trip and I'll always treasure meeting them & the conversations. But truth be told, real travel always involves the mundane stab-me-in the brain boring bullshit: The long ride to the airport accompanied by the inevitable line cueing to the airport security checkpoints. I have it down to an art now:

1. Remove shoes, place in box
2. Remove wallet, change, belt, mp3 player, headphones, and any other metal trinket from your pants. 

3. Remove baseball cap.
4. Remove laptop from laptop bag and place in separate storage bin.
5. Remove cell phone and any other electronic item, place in first bin.
6. Place all carry on bags as they are - NOT in bins.
7. Wait to be called through security WITH your identity and passport
in your hand. 
8. Walk through slowly and calmly. 99.99999% of the time you'll get through with NO PROBLEMS unless you've got some funky shit like body piercings (which I don't have, thank you very much!).

9. Gather your crap and get out of security.

Sounds easy, right? SO why do 33% of the fucks in line have no clue they're supposed to take their shows off or take their wallet out of their pants? I mean..... come on... people are just friggin' stupid. 

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