Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Autorevu's Grim Predictions

Prediction # 1: Chrysler Goes Bankrupt April 30, 2009

Failing to find cutbacks from unionized workers, Chrysler will fail to merge with FIAT and will be forced into Chapter 11 by it's debt holders. Nardelli, you useless asshole. Quit now and save your company before it sinks into the abyss.

Prediction #2: GM Gets Last-Minute Bailout #3 but then bankrupts 90 days later.

Pontiac, Saturn, SAAB, Hummer, and Buick will be sold on the chopping block for cheap. The only remaining brands will sink into obscurity and eventually GM will be capsized by it's massive debt and retireee benefit obligations.

Prediction #3: As Oil Rises, Big Trucks and SUV's Die Out

Get a good look at that big old Hummer and Ford Expedition. And yes, those big ass dually trucks are also going to be dinosaurs of the past. I can't believe I used to want a dually truck 10 years ago. Now I realize how ludicrous that idea was. Hell, even dual tanks on a pickup truck is rather ridiculous when you think about it. And yes, I used to have dual tanks on my old '92 F150 too.

Prediction #4: Stop-and-Start Technology Rolls In

You're sitting at a red light, 10 seconds later, your car stops running. The light turns green and you hit the gas - one millisecond later the car starts and you take off. Same thing happens when you're sitting in the drive through at McDonalds. Vehicle manufacturers will start adding Stop-and-start technology to their vehicles in order to increase fuel economy and cause a smaller "carbon footprint". Of course, the starts will have to be of a much higher quality to stand the repeated use during the entire life of the car - sort of the same quality that is in today's true hybrid vehicles.

Predicition #5: Guilt Meters Are In

Hammering on the gas pedal from a red light will reward you with a red lamp and a picture of a baby seal being clubbed to death. Or maybe a simple image of a tree being sawed down in the Amazon rain forest. Or maybe even a picture of Al Gore waving his disapproving finger at you when you decide to do a burnout in a parking lot. Sounds rediculous but already some vehicles already have "Eco" meters that show you when you're being a responsible or irresponsible driver.

Predicition #6: Supercars adopt hybrid technology

No manufacturer on the earth can put out a V12 engine forever without having impact on others. You'll start to see real hybrid technology being adapted to supercars. Lexus already uses it's technology not only to boost fuel economy but also performance of their luxury hybrid vehicles. So why can't Ferrari and Lamborghini adapt the same idea? It's only a matter of time before they do. And believe me, when they do, people will clammer all over this shit.

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