Saturday, March 23, 2013

Road Rage Stories

I ask, the internet delivers. Road rage stories from people.
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Allow me to open up with my story
Driving a shitty old brown 1984 chevy truck, I was enraged that I was cut-off by some asshat in a car that refused to give way and ended up blocking me behind a parked car. I jumped out to confront him but he took off.
Thankfully, I've calmed down quite a bit since then. There's only a few things that really annoy the hell out of me: Slow drivers and tail-gating.
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Johnsonbar:

driving in the left lane doing 10 over the limit. I see him in my rear view mirror, swerving across all 3 lanes in an old beater. Now's he on my ass and I'm not moving. He passed me on the left shoulder, pulled in front and locked the brakes for a sec. He speeds up and ahead I see him move to the right lane like he's waiting for me to catch up. I don't. He continues on. Few miles down the road something hits my hood and dents it. I didnt see what it was but I eventually saw him on an overpass in my rearview mirror. The asshole actually threw something like a rock at my car as I passed below.

driving in the left lane doing 10 over the limit. I see him in my rear view mirror, swerving across all 3 lanes in an old beater. Now's he on my ass and I'm not moving. He passed me on the left shoulder, pulled in front and locked the brakes for a sec. He speeds up and ahead I see him move to the right lane like he's waiting for me to catch up. I don't. He continues on. Few miles down the road something hits my hood and dents it. I didnt see what it was but I eventually saw him on an overpass in my rearview mirror. The asshole actually threw something like a rock at my car as I passed below.

    Woman in a minivan with a couple kids in the back did a hurried pass-and-turn-right, and combined the two maneuvers. I barely managed to keep my bike's front tire from intersecting her rear bumper ~30 MPH. Unfortunately, my gloved fist hit her left-side passenger window at about that speed. Felt much better after.
    Not quite sure if it's 'road rage', but I was doing the speed limit down the highway in the right lane, when I noticed the guy on the left side was also doing the limit. No big deal, since nobody is coming up to pass. A minute or two later, we're coming to an on-ramp full of cars... and he's still there. I add another 5 MPH... so does he. 10 MPH more, and he matches it. 20 MPH over the speed limit, and he's right there, and now the on-ramp is a quarter-mile away and coming up fast.
    I gave 'em the finger, shifted my weight over the tank, and twisted the throttle all the way to the stop. I passed the on-ramp well ahead of both the line of oncoming cars and the asshat on my left, and somewhere north of 150.

      Not so much road rage, but fun times. I have somewhat of a performance car, and all the BMW M3 dudes love trying to goad me into races at every red light. I'm too old for that shit, except one time when I noticed a cop a few hundred feet ahead; the M3 dude couldn't see the cop from his lane.
      So I rev the engine a bit, light turns green, I push real had through first and second, then go to straight to forth, and go nice and easy. M3 roars past, cop pulls out after I pass him, goes around me and pulls the M3 over. (Insert trollface.)

        Several years ago... this truck was tailgating me bad at night on the freeway. I'm in the middle lane, going five over, in a little beater, so the headlights are pretty much lighting up everything in the car like daylight.
        I apply my brakes, and the truck goes nuts and tries to cut me off from the left. I instinctively change lanes to the left as he makes his move. Apparently it throws off his sense of reference and he starts swerving all over the place and loses speed.
        I pass, then I notice lights spinning around like a police siren's might... except they are headlights. Dumb-ass spun out and side-swiped the dividing wall HARD.

          Driving my old manual '91 Chevy S10...this thing roared like a beast. Sitting at a stop sign, having a hard time finding the chance to turn left. Apparently, this upset a biker behind me, who charged his Harley around the three other people in front of him at this stop sign, blew through the stop sign, and went on his way. For some reason, this fucking set me OFF! I swear, if it had a tachometer, I red-lined it through the first three gears, got within 4 feet of this guy before hitting a red light.
          Apparently, red lights are too much of a bother for this guy as well, so he hops on the sidewalk with his Harley, travels about 50 feet down a populated sidewalk, so he can turn right.
          Meanwhile, my entire body is shaking from the adrenaline rush of pushing my car well beyond its proper limits (it has since broken down). I had to pull over and sit for a while before my feet could work the pedals properly without instinctively over-revving it.

            Me and my brother were at a local burger place when in walked Douchy McBag. He was your typical mid-30s meat head with a receding hairline and napoleon complex that dripped from every pore. I remember thinking to myself how I shouldn't make judgments based on appearance but never before have I been so right. This guy was a dick.
            We happen to leave around the same time Douchy does and as we are pulling out of the parking lot he comes flying past us in his hummer, cigarette in one hand cellphone in the other. He even gave us a little wave and nod as if we were doing him a favor by stopping abruptly instead of saving our own lives from his blatant disregard of parking lot speed limits.
            Now my brother is driving and is one of the most laid back people I've ever known but this pissed him off. Instead of brushing it off he pulls out into traffic, accelerates and then cuts into the lane in front of Douchy's hummer. This enrages Mr. McBag and he proceeds to tailgates us, throw his car into neutral and rev the engine, pull up to the passenger side of the window spitting obscenities, etc.
            He must have followed us for 2 miles before we hit a red light. He comes to a stop on the passenger side and motions for me to roll down my window. The cussing starts up again and I stare at him expressionless until he stops. I blow him a kiss and add in a wink for good measure. The light goes green and I shit you not he rage faces, screams at the top of his lungs and burns out down the road.
            We made our left and continued home to eat our burgers. They tasted like victory.


            I was in the middle of a 9 hour drive back from Michigan on a 2 lane 55mph highway. I was stuck behind two semis and a car that were riding close together and going pretty slow. I was trying to do 65. There were passing lanes every 10 miles or so. As soon as we get to one, the semi in back pulls in and sits in the left lane so I can't pass. He takes forever to finally pass the first semi and the car. I almost couldn't get around them. I was really pissed.

              I was legally setting off fireworks. A drunk, HOA obsessed couple returning home from a night on the town pulled up next to me and started telling me about how I'm not allowed to do that and started saying I was homeless because I wouldn't tell them where I lived. They just wanted to know so they could call the cops. So, I go inside, they call the cops, and they go to the wrong house because they don't know where I live. I wonder what would have happened if I told the cops that they were driving drunk or if I stuck over to their house and let the air of their tires.
              Then there was one time where there was a gas shortage in my town, and I pulled up next to the pump while another person was pulling in and we both had to slam on our brakes because I wanted to fill up first, and she said something rude about how I must be in a big hurry.

                I was nearly wiped out by a girl in a car next to me. I was turning right in the right turn lane, and she turned right from the left turn lane at the same time, oblivious to my presence next to her. Not even looking.
                I held up and waved a fire brick at her that I happened to have on the seat.
                She was stunned and seemed to have no real idea what my problem was.
                But the best one:
                One year at Christmas, stuck behind woman in right turn lane who was trying to turn left - we were trapped at the intersection for easily ten minutes as cars were zooming on past everyone in the straight lane and the other 3 oncoming lanes. This was an uncontrolled intersection and it was on Black Friday, no less. So crazy traffic.
                People were getting pissed - horns, horns, yelling. I got out and walked past the other 3-4 cars in front of me (and behind her) and motioned for her to roll her window down. It was an elderly lady.
                "Ma'am, what are you doing? You're in the right turn lane. Turn right."
                "But I don't want to turn right. I want to go left." VERY smarmy.
                "Lady, you've blocked us in for like 15 minutes. Take a right, and get turned around down the road in parking lot over there."
                "But I don't want to. I want to go that way." with a stupid kid attitude.
                Cars whizzing by, people honking.
                "MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!" I yell in my tirade into her face, stomping back to my car. I drive off into the ditch to the right, past everyone, through the snow, and take my right turn.

                  I've maybe used my horn twice. So, yeah, none really. Getting upset when in a vehicle capable of killing shit's a bad idea.
                  Oh, and I'm a slow driver - at least when it's not inconvenient to others. If it's one lane I'll go 10 km/h above the limit to accomodate you.

                    Maybe when some guy was standing in the middle of a parking space at the mall, holding it for his mom (this was not a teenager). It was a busy pre-Xmas shopping day and the spot was 30' from a side entrance. He wouldn't move until I just drove right at him (at 4 mph but still). A Seinfeld-esque debate ensued about whether or not you can hold marking spaces by standing in them.
                    It was a rather ridiculous victory since I had to send my embarrassed friend in to do the shopping, otherwise I'm sure my car would have been keyed.

                      This kind of counts I suppose.
                      I was in some random shopping center. I think it was near a holiday, because it was fucking packed. I was driving a Chevy Silverado, I was driving around this parking lot for around 20 minutes.
                      Then I notice a guy pulling out, I turn on the blinker, and I wait for him to back out. He backs out, as I'm making the turn [it was kind of a wide turn to make it into the spot] this guy flys around the corner in a Honda Civic and takes the spot somehow. I'm not even sure how he got in front of me, but he just took it. I turned the truck off, opened by door, got out, and reached into bed of my truck and got a log [I was carrying around some firewood at the time]
                      However, I said fuck it, and it's not worth it. So I put the log down, got back into my truck, and drove around some more and found a new spot. I wasn't even sure what I was going to do, just stand there and look pissed, and hope he backed out.

                      Keyboardsamurai 4 points5 points 16 hours ago[-]

                      I was absolutely terrified to get behind the wheel because of all the accidents I was in as a kid. My cousin wanted to help me out so he let me drive his car behind a grocery store where cars rarely drive through. So there I am anxious as shit trying not to fuck up the three point turn when this lady pulls up and starts to stare.
                      I signal her to keep going but she just kept staring. She opened the window and kept yelling "You failed! You failed! You failed!"
                      I'm for the most part an introvert but I was so angry by this that I yelled back "I'm practicing you fucking bitch!"
                      She was taken back and stepped on the gas and pulled up beside my cousin trying to explain that she was only joking.
                        hardlyart 2 points3 points 16 hours ago[-]

                        The city I live in has a large biking population. We have a lot of bike lanes in the city and one must constantly be aware of the cyclists. Once, I was parallel parking into a spot. You know the time it takes to parallel park isn't that great, but there's the slowing down, the lining up next to one of the other cars, the look back to see how much room there is, the slow back up, etc. Well as I was about halfway into the spot - with my car still sticking out at about a 20 degree angle as I was slowly backing in... some bike rider comes zooming by and punches my car. Didn't cause any damage but messed up one of my side mirrors. I was incensed and pulled out of the spot and went to follow him. Unfortunately, I'm still a lawful driver so I stopped at the stoplight as the douchebag rode right through and I got caught behind a few other cars. Went back and got that parking spot without incident.
                        I'm usually pretty zen while driving, but whenever someone's a dick for no reason it just gets to me.
                          BabarTheFrench 0 points1 point 14 hours ago[-]

                          You probably had to cross the bike lane to park, so he was pissed because you were in his way. That was really un-called for on his part though.

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