Friday, March 30, 2012

On Death

When people die, they leave huge holes left in the lives of the people who loved them. Every little habit, saying, or even placement if items in the home can remind you of that missing loved one and trigger painful memories of loss. The scent of their clothes, bedding, or even perfume is a strong memory shocker. Music can be healing but also trigger those painful memories of loss.

I remember one time a few months after my died had passed away. I ended up working with an older guy who used the term "Holy catfish!" It was great except my dad used to say that all the time and every time he said it I would remember him. Eventually I would stop working there.

If you are religious, it's easy to reconcile the grief into happiness or hope: The person who died went to a better place, like Heaven. For the non-religious, reconciling the grief can take other forms - remembering the loved one's favorite music, habits, and only thinking of the good things that happened. Nobody wants to believe that when they die, it's a big black sheet of nothing. But maybe that's all what that person wanted, so why wouldn't you be happy for that person?

I'm stuck in the middle. Half religious, half atheist. Science can prove so many incredible events that have happened over the past millions of years. Yet there are still some miracles that appear with no explanation.

Sometimes your pets can be helpful in the grieving process. Cats and Dogs can sense when you're not feeling well and will often comfort you in times of crisis.

For me, I miss giving Marion her medium double cream, half-sugar Tim Horton's drink after work. She used to drink extra-large double-double's, but since she had a stroke last year her appetite was half of what it used to be. Every day after work I would bring her the drink, and she was so happy to have it. It was rare that she didn't have a Tim's drink and the only time was when she was sick in bed.

Sometimes the best way to work through grief is to just write or talk about it.

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