Friday, August 7, 2009

That pain in my head is the Nissan Cube!

 
2009 is the year of the Ugly, with cars like the KIA Soul and Nissan Cube around, even my vagina-inspired Subaru looks pretty!
 
The Cube just came to Canada in 2009 and by the look of the pictures you can really see an inspiration that came out of Japan.
 
The weird rounded rear ass and the flowing curved tail lights resemble nothing that's on the road right now. My main beef with this vehicle is the only people who are going to buy it are 65+ year old geezer couples and Japanese Kei car geeks. I haven't seen a single young person drive these cars. In fact, I haven't seen a single young person drive the crappy KIA Soul either.

 
Is it wrong to fantasize about taking this car out to the dirt roads and trying some enthusiastic rally driving? Something that involves hard cornering and rolling? Yes. Yes indeed. But the true horror lies inside the micro van. Inside, it confirms my suspicions that this vehicle was designed by someone who suffers from Asperger's syndrome and color blindness.

 
99.99% of the vehicles today have bland gray and beige seats or interiors.  The front controls look like something right out of a 80's arcade game. Why are there cup holders on the left of the steering wheel? Is it for my aunt Sadie*, the hopeless alcoholic who brings a fresh drink with her in the car? Was it made for the weekend drunk? At least Dodge had it right by making a chiller cooler - one could fit 4-5 wine coolers in that bitch.

 
And I leave you with a horrendous rear shot. I didn't take these pictures because I couldn't bring myself up to driving this thing. It's like getting psyched up to drive a Smart car. Sure... it looks unique and seems interesting ... but when you need to put your foot down ... nothing happens. This is the kind of car Microsoft would design, if they ever made cars. Seriously - and I mean that in a good way - I'm a Windows guy.  If you own one of these I'd be interested to hear your comments on this thing. And why, for God's sake, did you choose it?

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