Monday, July 21, 2008

Save your money. Don't buy a CRAP car.

I was listening to the radio on my lunch break today and they had a guy on from Edmunds.com who was taking phone calls. I resisted the urge to phone in, but damn, I was boiling to talk. Of course you get your rudimentary idiots who call in with the most asinine questions. One was wondering if you used the defroster if it wore down your battery. Actually, it won't. That's what they make alternators for. And last time I checked, all defrosters come with a built-in timer that shuts it off after 15 minutes of operation. Imagine my surprise when the host said it would drain the battery! Pure bullshit. The only way you could do that is if you had the car NOT running AND the ignition key in "ACCESSORY" mode. THEN you push the defroster ON. That would drain the battery down a LITTLE bit.

The real fun started when folks started calling in and asking if they should buy a used Dodge Caravan van. Are you kidding me? Those vans have the worst transmissions in the world. Everyone knows this shit. And then the superstar moment was when this redneck Nova Scotian called in and asked 'bout the Cheveee Avaaaaaoooo (as he said it). "Was it any good" he asked. If I was the host I would have asked him a question. "Well it depends. It depends if you really like stinky piles of dog shit. Because that car is a true Daewoo piece of shit". But the host was nice and he avoided the big negatives by saying "Its engine was loud. The gas mileage is not good. The car drives not so good. You're better off looking at a Honda Fit, Nissan Versa, or Hyundai Accent".

I agree with two out of the three choices he presented to the caller. While the South Korean car may be the cheapest choice, it's depreciation and longevity is the worst of the three. If there was a bumper sticker, it would say "I'd rather walk than drive a Hyundai Accent". I was in one in 2007 and I asked a buddy of mine to "floor it". I waited with anticipation. And waited. And waited. Nothing happened. It's a little faster than the shitty SMART car, but not by much. At least the Hyundai Accent can change gears without CHUG-CHUG-CHUGGING.

And then...the best call yet. Some douchebag calling in and asking if his KIA RIO5 (2006) was any good. Are you serious? The only caller that had any street cred was the dude who phoned in and asked if his 2006 Acura CSX-type S was any good. Well of course it's fucking good. One car drives like a garbage truck and another like a Japanese BMW (if there ever was one). People in the maritimes know nothing about cars. It's true. There is a few select folks at work who know what the good cars are and drive 'em. But the vast majority have no clue. They think a Jeep Nitro or Liberty is a good vehicle. Believe me, they are not.

Don't believe me?


Part two here:

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