Sunday, July 13, 2008

Good cars...... bad people.

An interesting phenomenon occurs when you get bad people driving good cars: They turn into even bigger assholes. I was driving in Dartmouth yesterday and I came up to a stop sign. All of a sudden I heard this enormous thundering booms. It was like a huge bass attack..... disorienting and very, very loud. It reminded me of a jet taking off - only with the low rumbling. Guess who was behind me? A Mazda 3 sedan. Someone had obviously spent quite a bit of money on their car, because this bass was so loud and there was no rattling anywhere.

Usually when I hear loud bass coming from cars it's a shitbox Civic or Acura Integra. The booming bass can be heard rattilng the interior of the car to pieces. These jalopniks are driven around by teenagers with backwards baseball caps. I didn't get a good glimps of the driver behind me because I didn't want to stick around. The bass was very loud indeed. You have to wonder if these idiots realize the kind of hearing damage they are doing to themselves. This is permanent shit. You know that ringing you hear after you've been to a rock concert? That folks is an indication that you have suffered some degree of permanent hearing damage. I hope this guy realizes quickly that unless he tones down the music, he will have a permanent case of Tinnitus (ringing of the ears).

I've got a beef with those assholes who drive loud motorcycles. You know? Those fuckers who have nice bikes but insist on using loud straight pipes - causing an enormous amount of backfire and loud explosions when they take off. It's like their dick size is so small they have to somehow compensate for it. I really believe that if they are allowed to roam the streets with these loud motherfucker bikes, I should be allowed to drive with the same degree of lawless noise making. Why can't I put on straight cat-backs and let my Scooby go loud? Because it's against the law and I'm a responsible citizen who cares about making loud noises. Not so for the few arrogant pricks who insist on driving their bikes and making loud bangs as they go by.

Is it any different than those motherfuckers who have fart can exhausts on their 4-cylinder cars? Actually it's no different at all.

Here are my biggest pet peeves:

1. Assholes on loud motorcycles (Harley-Davidson stock bikes are OK).
2. Douche bags who drive cars with super-loud bass systems AND they play it loud
3. People in #2 that also have rattling noises because they couldn't afford a proper installer to do the job.
4. Poor folks who drive pieces of shit cars that have no exhaust, no catalytic converts, and no pipes.
5. Domestic and Import ricers who have any type of fart-can exhaust systems.
6. People in #5 but also have the ubiquitous "Greddy" stickers to advertise said fact that they are douche bags.
7. Anyone that drives a vehicle with the catalytic converter and muffler removed. I'm sorry, but that reduction of weight and pollution controls will not get you the performance boost you seek. Assholes.

8. Cars that are so low, that the exhaust scrapes the ground as they drive by. This is usually due to the fact that inside the car are 6 people wearing backwards baseball caps and listening to "50 Cent".

9. Above said people who try to pass you on the highway but fail badly and get pwned.

10. Any piece of shit car that tries to pass you after YOU have passed them on the highway. One time I had a KIA Sephia try to pass me on an uphill going 120.... Ummm. .... ya. Did I mention his car couldn't get past 90 km/hour up the hill? People get highly offended when you pass them. Gooooo Kia!

'nuff said.

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