Monday, March 24, 2008

Cars that make you think "What the fuck??!"

by Stoneman

I'd be lying if I told you that I had driven a car which completely seduced my mind, body, and soul. Honestly there's not much out there these days worth waiting in a chastity belt for. But there are some cars that make you stand back and say "What the fuck were they thinking?!" 'THEY' being the designers and manufacturers of the car. So let's list a few that I have discovered, shall we?

Ford Mustang GT 2005-2008

The performance of this car is incredible. The rear-wheel drive and old-school suspension reminds me of the 70's muscle cars once again. Although it has the handling of an ox cart, it is fun to mash around the corners and let the rear end swing around. But what boggles my mind is the inside of this car: Cheap plastic dash, cheap plastic parts, switches, gaudy chrome strips, and a driver instrumentation area that was designed by a crack head. I couldn't see the speed I was going because the stupid steering wheel is in the way of the speedo gauge. I'm not kidding. If you opt for the automatic transmission, be prepared to receive a shifter reminiscent of a 1980's video game toy. The cheap plastic and crappy feel of the car is just.... horrible.

Cadillac CTS-V

I drove one a few years ago and yes, the car goes like a bat out of hell, but for fuck sakes GM, they put every cheap piece of plastic they could find for this car. And they call this vehicle a Cadillac? The shifter was loose and sloppy. The clutch feel was OK but there was absolutely nothing special about this car. When you get into a Cadillac you should have TOP NOTCH quality and build. This car had neither. The big V8 engine which comes from the coveted Corvette was very powerful, but when you have an interior of a Chevy Cobalt... your brain refuses to believe it. I like to say it's like going to a fine French restaurant and getting cheap McDonalds fast food instead.

Pontiac Solstice

While
fun to drive if you can get the manual version, it still cannot hold up to the quality of build when compared against a Mazda MX-5 or Honda S2000. The quirks are there though. For some reason GM decided NOT to put door lock switches on the inside of the car. If you do lock your doors when driving (a good idea in this day of age), you'll have to dig out your key FOB and press the release button in order to get out of the car. Now how fucked is that? This one little detail drove me absolutely bonkers.

I'm going to think of more cars soon.

-Stoneman


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